I thought so. I told Shen Jiye you'd be delighted.
(Dorian was fussing about the mealworms again in a warden-filtered
conversation, and I told him to leave them the fuck alone, some of us
appreciate the option of alternative protein sources. At which point Shen
Jiye offered me silkworm cocoons.)
The two of them then got into an argument, I wanted to make popcorn.
Grown, possibly immortal, men bickering on the internet. Feels like home.
I'll let you listen if you want.
[He doesn't bother to reply, just heads to Maggie's cabin, knocking when he arrives before letting himself in. He's fascinated by the idea of new recipes with silkworm cocoons--his mainstays are crickets and grasshoppers, so this will be an entirely new experience.]
"Hey, Shaun. I figured we should taste test a few different recipes, see
how we like them best." So her counter and kitchen table currently have a
whole bunch of ingredients spread out and waiting.
"Sounds good," he says, moving to inspect her ingredients curiously. "I'm always up for good food that has no potential to kill me." Whether or not he can amplify by eating meat on the Barge (or at all, given his apparent immunity), but he's not really interested in testing things.
"Glad your Irwin tendencies don't extend to meat. Even if you are
immune, I think I'd have an anxiety attack watching you eat it." Knowing
Shaun's love of aloo gobi, one of the sets of ingredients definitely
includes curry spices. Curried silkworm cocoons seem worth trying.
"Settled on a new deal, by the way. Not that it matters yet, since Sweeney
has awhile to go. But when he manages to graduate, I'm making it so no
current strain, future mutation, or virus derived from KA causes
amplification. Keep the virus so I'm not responsible for every mammalian
cancer death in the world, but limit its effects. I've got a lawyer on
board working out wording so we don't leave loopholes."
"I think George would find a way to make herself corporeal just to slap the fork out of my hand, so considering the fact that she's actually just my delusion, I think I agree." Oh Maggie is a good friend. Everything looks fantastic. He moves to the sink to wash his hands as Maggie describes her new deal.
"...Damn," he says, letting out a low whistle. He glances over at her with a wry grin. "If we ever needed proof that you're a better person than me, this is it. I don't think I'd save the world with my magical 'fix anything' wish." Kind of a joke, really, because they both know exactly how selfish he'd be if he could fix one thing in his life.
Softly, she tells him, "I'd be lying if I said a part of me doesn't want to
say fuck it all and save Dave. You know I wouldn't hold it against you. But
this is what I'm doing."
Then her communicator beeps, and she glances down at it, not really
planning to reply till later. Until she sees the
message. "Oh, for fuck's sake!"
She shakes her head as she shoots back a reply. "Hang on, I have to text my
inmate for a minute because some people on the Barge behave like actual
children. ...Not Sweeney. He's being the mature person in the room."
Shaun raises his eyebrows. "This sounds like a story I'm very interested in hearing." Not that he doesn't think Sweeny can act like an adult. He likes what he's seen of him. But imagining him as The Adult in the Room is a little terrifying.
Maggie answers slowly, still typing as she does, only half of her mind on
what she's saying. "Pagan is in a Barge coma, and his inmate and boyfriend
are having a huge argument over what to do with his unconscious body.
Sweeney intervened, which I do not envy him; Misty and Dorian bring
a lot of personality to the party."
She grimaces. "Now he's stuck there on babysitting duty indefinitely so he
can enforce a truce."
Shaun lets out a short laugh. "I don't know Misty, but I've met Dorian. He sure is something." He's mostly found Dorian entertaining, but he can imagine arguing with him would be maddening.
"Is this a thing? Am I going to have to make out a fucking will or something? What do do with me if I drop dead, aside from putting a bullet in my brainstem?"
"I'm making one now," Maggie murmurs. "What to do if I'm unconscious for an
extended period. Show you once I've sent it. Not that I think there'd be an
issue with you and Tim and Sweeney. All of you are more sensible and less
infuriating than Misty, which should tell you a lot."
Considering the personalities of her own nearest and dearest on board.
Shaun snickers. "I don't think I've ever been called 'sensible' in my entire life. Besides, I know what you really want. It's to be propped up in a corner to scare the shit out of people."
One: he is projecting.
Two: Maggie is insane for horror movies. There's probably a tiny part of her that agrees.
"This is still a prison ship," Maggie counters. "And one with an
inmate who thinks viruses sound like good playthings. I do not want
to be left outside my cabin, thank you, lest I wake up in the middle of a
zombie uprising."
She passes over her
communicator. "Forgot to mention on here that you get my kitchen key,
but you do. Please keep the ship fed and don't give anyone good poisoning."
He looks over the list, nodding a little as he does. Yeah, that all makes sense, and he is deeply glad not to be on dog-duty. Not that he thinks Maggie would ask him unless it was the direst circumstance, but it's still nice to see it in writing. He hands the communicator back to her.
"I think we can manage that." Brief pause. "Though if you ever did need me to keep an eye on the fur monster, I can. Just make sure I have a whole pile of Xanax."
"Just give her to B over at the kennel if for some reason neither of the
others can take her. I trust B, he's the one who gave her to me in the
first place after she was left behind by a former passenger." No need to
resort to Xanax, Shaun.
"I expect my body to be treated with the care and respect it deserves," he says, grinning over at her. "By which I mean that I want hilarious jokes to be played, and footage or stills of them to be shown to to me on waking. Nothing sexual, and bonus points given for whatever the hell criteria I feel like when I wake up."
Maggie absolutely cackles at that. "I'll see what I can do. I refuse to
prop you up in a random common room for the same reasons I don't want that
myself. But I can bring you to the infirmary and leave a note next to you
inviting silliness as long as it's documented for your amusement."
"Fair," he agrees, also laughing. "Plus, I don't think I'd trust unsupervised assholes not to be incredibly fucking weird in a way that I would not appreciate."
Text
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Not that it will change my answer or anything, but I'm curious.
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Finding our favorite ways to cook silkworm cocoons!
I seem to have acquired a whole bunch of them, so I'm experimenting.
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I thought so. I told Shen Jiye you'd be delighted.
(Dorian was fussing about the mealworms again in a warden-filtered conversation, and I told him to leave them the fuck alone, some of us appreciate the option of alternative protein sources. At which point Shen Jiye offered me silkworm cocoons.)
You can come by any time.
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omw, is there anything you want me to bring?
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The two of them then got into an argument, I wanted to make popcorn. Grown, possibly immortal, men bickering on the internet. Feels like home. I'll let you listen if you want.
Think I'm all set here, just come over.
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Hey Maggie!
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"Hey, Shaun. I figured we should taste test a few different recipes, see how we like them best." So her counter and kitchen table currently have a whole bunch of ingredients spread out and waiting.
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"Glad your Irwin tendencies don't extend to meat. Even if you are immune, I think I'd have an anxiety attack watching you eat it." Knowing Shaun's love of aloo gobi, one of the sets of ingredients definitely includes curry spices. Curried silkworm cocoons seem worth trying.
"Settled on a new deal, by the way. Not that it matters yet, since Sweeney has awhile to go. But when he manages to graduate, I'm making it so no current strain, future mutation, or virus derived from KA causes amplification. Keep the virus so I'm not responsible for every mammalian cancer death in the world, but limit its effects. I've got a lawyer on board working out wording so we don't leave loopholes."
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"...Damn," he says, letting out a low whistle. He glances over at her with a wry grin. "If we ever needed proof that you're a better person than me, this is it. I don't think I'd save the world with my magical 'fix anything' wish." Kind of a joke, really, because they both know exactly how selfish he'd be if he could fix one thing in his life.
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Softly, she tells him, "I'd be lying if I said a part of me doesn't want to say fuck it all and save Dave. You know I wouldn't hold it against you. But this is what I'm doing."
Then her communicator beeps, and she glances down at it, not really planning to reply till later. Until she sees the message. "Oh, for fuck's sake!"
She shakes her head as she shoots back a reply. "Hang on, I have to text my inmate for a minute because some people on the Barge behave like actual children. ...Not Sweeney. He's being the mature person in the room."
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Maggie answers slowly, still typing as she does, only half of her mind on what she's saying. "Pagan is in a Barge coma, and his inmate and boyfriend are having a huge argument over what to do with his unconscious body. Sweeney intervened, which I do not envy him; Misty and Dorian bring a lot of personality to the party."
She grimaces. "Now he's stuck there on babysitting duty indefinitely so he can enforce a truce."
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"Is this a thing? Am I going to have to make out a fucking will or something? What do do with me if I drop dead, aside from putting a bullet in my brainstem?"
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"I'm making one now," Maggie murmurs. "What to do if I'm unconscious for an extended period. Show you once I've sent it. Not that I think there'd be an issue with you and Tim and Sweeney. All of you are more sensible and less infuriating than Misty, which should tell you a lot."
Considering the personalities of her own nearest and dearest on board.
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One: he is projecting.
Two: Maggie is insane for horror movies. There's probably a tiny part of her that agrees.
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"This is still a prison ship," Maggie counters. "And one with an inmate who thinks viruses sound like good playthings. I do not want to be left outside my cabin, thank you, lest I wake up in the middle of a zombie uprising."
She passes over her communicator. "Forgot to mention on here that you get my kitchen key, but you do. Please keep the ship fed and don't give anyone good poisoning."
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"I think we can manage that." Brief pause. "Though if you ever did need me to keep an eye on the fur monster, I can. Just make sure I have a whole pile of Xanax."
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"Just give her to B over at the kennel if for some reason neither of the others can take her. I trust B, he's the one who gave her to me in the first place after she was left behind by a former passenger." No need to resort to Xanax, Shaun.
"Anything I should keep in mind for you?"
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Maggie absolutely cackles at that. "I'll see what I can do. I refuse to prop you up in a random common room for the same reasons I don't want that myself. But I can bring you to the infirmary and leave a note next to you inviting silliness as long as it's documented for your amusement."
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People.
Are.
Weird.
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"Probably a wise choice," Maggie agrees.
"Now, I think I promised you cooking experiments. Tell me how you've been while we're at it."
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