I know. [All sorts of people believed her. All sorts of people were right on board. Not all of them made it out.
She shuts her eyes, letting the sound of Shaun's heartbeat calm her a little. She can't think of a single choice she could have made differently, even knowing where it led, so she must have done the right thing. The only thing.]
[He smiles a little.] Like you said. Variations on a theme. Mostly the theme of losing you, and how well I don't cope with that. [He tightens his arm around her, reassuring himself that she's still solid and still there.]
But that's not really news to anyone, I don't think.
[She brushes her lips against his knuckles. She's here. She can't promise she'll be here forever. She's not a liar, and Wonderland being what it is, she can't know. But she's here now. They have more time than they should have.]
Mm. [He sighs quietly looks down at her, trying to see as much of her expression as he can in the dimness.] You think I can do it, right? Finish what we started?
[She doesn't hesitate as she answers.] I know you can. [She looks up at him, eyes shining with faith and trust.] You've never let me down. And you're a hell of a lot smarter than anyone gives you credit for.
[And the second they get out of bed, she'll go back to calling him an idiot. But it's not like they can use normal pet names. Insults have to do.]
[It fucking better have been big. She feels the way he relaxes and nestles her head against his shoulder again. Shaun's about as good at admitting weakness as she is, and she's gonna damn well be as supportive as she can.]
Remember when I thought Yellowstone was too dangerous?
[Except if he kept posting pictures from all these dangerous locations, he'd have to keep surviving them. She doesn't expect Shaun will stick around long after he finishes this story, but she still wants him to live. It's nice to think that if there's an afterlife, and if that afterlife has an internet connection, she'd be able to see his ongoing adventures and know he was getting out of each of them okay.]
You're going to ruin my News blog with your Irwin shenanigans.
Your blog has infinite space, dumbass. [She's well aware that this is a pointless argument on so many levels. Shaun wouldn't use her blog for his adventures even if he does have them. He's just winding her up. But bickering with him over nonsense is weirdly comforting. She elbows him casually in the ribs.]
With me threatening to take over your blog? [He smiles. That's not really what she means, though. It's this. The bickering banter, and planning like they have a future.]
[And them sharing a bed every night. Living together with a sort of casualness she's only ever been able to dream about before. She grumbles as she tucks herself under his arm.]
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It was important. Bigger than both of us. Bigger than all of us. The world needed to know.
[It's all stuff that she's always believed. But she still isn't sure who she's trying to convince.]
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You don't have to convince me, you know. I was always right on board with you.
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She shuts her eyes, letting the sound of Shaun's heartbeat calm her a little. She can't think of a single choice she could have made differently, even knowing where it led, so she must have done the right thing. The only thing.]
I just didn't like that it made me doubt that.
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But that's not really news to anyone, I don't think.
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No, somehow caught on to that one.
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[And the second they get out of bed, she'll go back to calling him an idiot. But it's not like they can use normal pet names. Insults have to do.]
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Thanks. It's just... a lot bigger than anything we've ever done before.
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[It fucking better have been big. She feels the way he relaxes and nestles her head against his shoulder again. Shaun's about as good at admitting weakness as she is, and she's gonna damn well be as supportive as she can.]
Remember when I thought Yellowstone was too dangerous?
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Yeah. I remember. And how you wouldn't let me go to Shady Cove. I'm going to go there one day. Just you wait.
[Of course, it will probably be his last trip, but that's okay. it is the destination of a lifetime.]
I'll take a selfie and post it on your blog.
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[Except if he kept posting pictures from all these dangerous locations, he'd have to keep surviving them. She doesn't expect Shaun will stick around long after he finishes this story, but she still wants him to live. It's nice to think that if there's an afterlife, and if that afterlife has an internet connection, she'd be able to see his ongoing adventures and know he was getting out of each of them okay.]
You're going to ruin my News blog with your Irwin shenanigans.
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[Not that he really expects to live much longer than the end of the story, but it's fun to talk about. Especially when George reacts like she does.]
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Think it would have been like this if I lived?
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Definitely.
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You being an asshole wouldn't have been new.
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Still. It's nice.
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Yeah, it is.